FEARS / BLOCKAGES /  EMOTIONAL / INJURIES 

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Childhood Wounds, Soul Traumas, Toxic Relationships... Understanding Emotional Pain and Patterns We May Experience in Adulthood. A Necessary Foundation to Then Adopt a Mature and Grounded Spiritual Stance...

From Wounds to Blockages

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We are wounded beings. I sincerely believe that every person is a wounded being. This is neither a fatality nor an excuse. It is also not a way to shirk responsibility, but I know that every human being is a wounded being who has lacked love. The number of wounds varies, as does their intensity and impact on our daily lives. The less love we have received, the more significant our wounds will be.

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These wounds have multiple origins. They may be karmic, meaning they could be linked to past lives, or they may form during our childhood.

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Wounds create blockages. Wounds create toxic relationships. Wounds prevent us from creating our own well-being and happiness. And we don’t know how to free ourselves from our wounds. So, are we doomed to suffer endlessly? Not at all, because you can work on your blockages. But trying to free yourself from wounds without understanding your blockages is a futile pursuit. You will expend a lot of time and energy, only to return to the starting point. How many evenings have you spent crying, raging, or despairing, feeling like you’re doing everything right but not seeing the results you expect? How many frantic purchases have you made, thinking you’ve found the miracle object? How many people have you idolized without stepping back, believing they would save you? I’ve done it. I admit it. Before I understood that freeing myself from my wounds was a process of internalization, introspection, and acceptance.

 

Blockages are the consequence of our wounds. The two are deeply connected.

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So, how does a wound form?

A wound stems from trauma. It’s a scar etched within you. It’s an indelible mark inscribed in your flesh, your energies, and your being.

This scar can be painful and swollen, taking up a lot of space, making it hard to breathe, cutting off your breath, or anchoring you in the past. But this scar can also be painless. Like a discreet tattoo, when you see it, it reminds you of the path you’ve traveled and what you’ve built within yourself to become the beautiful person you are.

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We all have a unique sensitivity, meaning the same experience lived by two different people won’t necessarily create the same wound in them. We also don’t compare people’s experiences. We each have a different sensitivity, path, baggage, way of walking, and way of moving forward.

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Your childhood may have left wounds in you. These scars can be painful, and they may horrify you. You might feel like they block the creation of your happiness and well-being.

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Childhood is a crucial period in our lives. It’s when we are most vulnerable and still building ourselves. It’s when we establish our first reflexes, create our initial emotional reactions, build our relational patterns with others, and construct our identity. It’s a critical time, and we are not equipped because we depend on others.

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We build our frame of reference, our way of seeing ourselves and the world, with tools we cannot question, relationships we cannot challenge, and people who have significant influence over us. This may seem unfair. It may seem terrifying. It may seem destabilizing.

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As individuals, we are shaped by our relationships with our parents, trusted adults, the education we receive, the conditioning we absorb, and the external environment in which we grow up. Through our child’s eyes, all of this appears as a normality we cannot escape. It appears as fixed rules to follow. It appears as the entire world.

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Being a child is complicated. Being a parent is complicated because our parents, like everyone else, are wounded beings. I’m convinced that parenting is a relationship between two children: the child in development and the inner child of the adult. However, something is critical: the adult is responsible, not the child.

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As a child, you are not responsible. You are not responsible for the emotional reactions the adult cannot balance, for the wounds they try to escape, for the environment in which you grow up, or for your parents’ actions. You are not responsible. And above all, you owe nothing to your parents, just as your children owe you nothing.

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Our childhood may have wounded us. But our childhood does not dictate the rest of our lives. It does not set in stone our future relationships, achievements, or the creation of our happiness and well-being.

So, what are these wounds that can form?

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If you’re interested in personal development, you may have read Lise Bourbeau’s works, which discuss this extensively. These wounds are filled with nuances. Their intensity and impact vary for each person.

You are not weak if you have many wounds. You are not strong if you have none. You are a unique, complex being with a sensitivity that belongs to you. No one has the right to categorize, judge, or criticize you unjustly. But let’s summarize:

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One wound may be that of abandonment. It forms when there is a lack of inner and/or outer security, emotional and/or physical.

There is the wound of rejection. It forms when there is a feeling of being pushed away, despised, belittled, and/or excluded.

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There is the wound of injustice, which forms when there is a lack of empathy, a sense of not being heard, or when your needs, boundaries, and expectations are not considered. It forms when you grow up having to constantly follow rules that don’t align with your identity and values, without being able to question them.

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There is the wound of betrayal, which forms when you feel betrayed by a trusted person.

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There is the wound of humiliation, which forms when you feel your integrity and privacy are not respected.

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These wounds form during childhood, not adulthood. They may be unconscious and manifest through experiences lived as adults. This doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt as an adult. However, when you feel deep blockages or when events trigger intense, unbalanced emotional reactions, they reactivate wounds already present in you.

I know. You might expect me to provide a manual for identifying these wounds and a protocol for freeing yourself from them. Thank you, goodnight, case closed. Except you are a complex being. Beyond the presence of these wounds, it’s the relationship you have with them as an adult that creates blockages.

 

Wounds create inner suffering, which in turn creates blockages. It’s the space you give them in your inner being that holds you back. Again, there is no miracle protocol to help you understand the influence of your wounds. Because, once more, you are a complex being. It would be disrespectful to categorize you or make you believe that knowing, discovering, and understanding yourself is easy.

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With a variety of nuances, you have several choices—conscious or not—regarding the relationship you have with your wounds:

• They control you, creating blockages. You move forward in great duality. You desperately seek happiness and well-being while feeling unable to step out of your limiting comfort zone, experiencing daily suffering. This creates significant inner discomfort. Every situation is filtered through the lens of your wounds and pain. You struggle to feel positivity, despite feeling like you’re doing everything to welcome it into your life. While you wish to live serene and healthy experiences, you create negative, even toxic, relational, behavioral, and thought patterns. If you’re currently in this situation, I send you immense kindness and gentleness from the bottom of my heart.

 

• You try to escape them. You refuse to look at your wounds, feel their suffering, or acknowledge your shadow side. Yet, accepting and seeing your shadow side is the revelation of your light. But will you accept it? You risk creating blockages without recognizing them. You may easily see them in others through a mirror effect but struggle to admit them in yourself. The more you flee your wounds, the more your energetic imprint can be negative for others, and the more you may create toxic behavioral, thought, and relational patterns. The more you flee your wounds, the more collateral damage you may cause. Beyond your own blockages, you may hurt others in your escape from yourself. I’m not saying this to guilt you, as I believe we’ve all done this at least once, to varying degrees. However, it’s crucial to realize that sometimes we can be the villain in the story. To change this, you must stop fleeing your wounds.

 

• You see your wounds as alerts. You embrace your inner suffering. You look at your scars. You accept the blockages in your life. You listen to yourself, offering the gentleness, time, and kindness you need. You allow yourself to be imperfect. You realize you’re doing your best with the resources you have. You create a new relationship with yourself, turning your wounds and past into a strength. You no longer see your blockages as something to eliminate but as vital alerts to understand what you need, who you are, and how to move forward at your own pace.

 

Our blockages stem from our wounds. By becoming aware of their presence, intensity, influence, and source, we open the door to a magnificent being: ourselves. We realize everything starts with us, recognizing our strength and vulnerability. We become, or reclaim being, the actor of our life, truly aware of who we are. We move forward at our own pace, based on ourselves, not others, limiting beliefs, or societal expectations.

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If there is a key to your happiness, it doesn’t lie in freeing yourself from your wounds. That’s impossible and utopian. The key to your happiness lies at the heart of your blockages—in their acceptance, understanding, and the actions you take to move forward at your own pace, based on your needs and expectations. Yes, it’s not easy every day. Yes, sometimes you may feel helpless. But by becoming aware of this, you are the actor of your life. You’re no longer passively waiting for the effect of a healing session or a magical trinket. You no longer believe in a fate where happiness is reserved for others. You’re no longer trapped in repeating negative patterns that bring you back to the starting point, intensifying your wounds and suffering. You’re no longer spending your time, energy, and money on rituals or protocols that don’t resonate with you. You take the reins. You take control of your destiny. You take the lead in your progress. And believe me, that is priceless.

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The more you accept, understand, and work on your blockages, the more you’ll create a new relationship with your wounds. The more you accept, understand, and work on your blockages, the more you’ll distance yourself from others and the external world, creating your own frame of reference, questioning, and listening to your inner thoughts and reflections.

The more you accept, understand, and work on your blockages, the further you’ll move from toxic patterns. The more you accept, understand, and work on your blockages, the more you’ll let your inner strength guide you. It’s not miraculous. But don’t you believe you are the miracle you’re waiting for from an external tool?

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  MASTERY OF EMOTION HERE